Family Holding Back on the Ex
When taking an ex back, several things need to be considered. The process can take a long time to get everything in order from one’s feelings, resolution of the incident which caused the break up and a plan to reintegrate them back into your life. Following this involved course, one might be surprised by they way their family reacts. Everyone wants to believe their family will acquiesce to the wishes of the couple. Rarely does anything ever go the way one wants or believes it will, so it is best to be aware and eyes open.
Family responses to one taking back an ex can be varied. Given the wide range of how family’s may react, one needs to be prepared. Let’s look at a few possible responses.
* Cautious Optimism: In several situations, this could be the best response hoped for as your family is not actively rooting against your reestablished relationship.
* Luke Warm: The family neither supports nor detracts from the relationship. Unlike the optimistic group, this family proves far more likely to remind one of the troubles and downgrade some of the positive experiences.
* Active Antagonism: As the name suggests, no positives are ever brought up. More often than not, the family tends to degrade the ex by bringing up less than stellar aspects of their personality, behavior and how they tanked the initial relationship.
As complicated as the reactions, a family’s reasons for why they act the way they do when hearing about the rekindled relationship can be filled with twists and turns. Some of the reasons will have a valid base supported by logic. Other reasons will be pure speculation and suspicion. Weeding out the truth becomes critical to prevent one’s family from burning the foundation from under the renewed romance.
* Protection: Family’s see part of their role as watching out for those they love.
* Wisdom: As a group, families believe they are more aware of the best thing since they are not swept up with emotions.
* Experience: One or more people in the family may have tried restarting romances and view it as folly.
* Fear: They can recall the pain of the dissolution of the initial relationship and do not want to have it happen again.
Ultimately, your reaction to the your family will bring them closer to accepting the relationship. One of the keys centers around their understanding you have considered all the things their worried about and addressed them with your ex. Granted, a clear discussion will never alleviate all their concerns. In fact, one should not try to act in such a way as to mollify them. Your family is entitled to their own feelings. Their feelings should not damage your relationship with them or hinder either your relationship with your ex.
Taking time to have conversations, both with your family and your ex, will go a long way to demonstrating how much time, effort and care has gone into restarting the relationship. It may take a while before everyone can get together and begin rebuilding their connection. Until then, you will be the link between the two reassuring them about the decisions being made and solidity of all your relationships.